Failure - What If There Was No Such Thing?
Failure wow isnt cure for impotence an ominous word. It is a word that strikes fear in many. It is the excuse or reason many use to stay stuck. The Connecticut Lemon Laws of failure, as defined by the Webster Dictionary, is a state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, opposite of success.
Have debt management professional ever heard the statement; I could not possibly do that, what if it did not work out what if I failed? If you knew you could not fail, what would you do? If you were guaranteed success what would you attempt?
I can hear you already, yeah but there is no such guarantee, it is more likely that I am going to fail then it is that I will succeed. Just take a look at my past that is proof enough for anyone to agree. So what is the sense in dreaming or wishing about something I know will not happen - success?
Lets take a deeper look at failure and why I believe that there is such a guarantee and that no one fails if they choose not to.
First - What is your definition of failure?
Second - Where in your life do you believe you failed?
Third - Would you be happier only if you could erase all those failures from your past?
Okay, so what does your definition of failure look like? Is it the grim negative definition that Webster uses, is it the direct opposite of success? My definition is a little less depressing. I define failure as my unwillingness to learn from my mistakes. I believe that failures, or not meeting our intended goal or outcomes, are put into our world to teach us something. So when I attempt to accomplish something and it does not work out the way I envisioned it, then I say to myself; okay, well that did not work out exactly how I wanted it to, but what can I learn about myself as a result? Only my own unwillingness to learn something is the failure.
I have a whole list of examples I could share with you, but one big one is my divorce. Pretty much by anyones standards a divorce is a failure. So how did I turn this around into a success? I just looked at my definition of failure and started to look at my marriage and figured out what I learned about myself and what I gained from being in the marriage. I then saved this information for use in any future relationships so I wont make the same mistakes again. As long as I am willing to learn and grow from my experiences, its not truly a failure then is it?
So even though my marriage ended in divorce, I would not have wanted to erase the experience. If it did not happen, then I would not have learned and gained all that I did from the experience and as a result would not be the person I am today.
Another example is when I started to golf. I joined a woman's golf league hoping to gain some new friends and learn the game of golf. Well if any of you are golfers you understand that the game is very challenging. The first year was really difficult. I did not know anyone in the league so I was nervous about meeting new people. Add to that the fact that I did not really know how to golf. I was pretty much setting myself up for failure.
To make a long story short, the first few years were rough, but I persevered. I was committed to getting better. I learned from my mistakes and listened to the more experienced golfers' suggestions and before you know it I was winning.
To give you an idea of how bad I was when I started I won the "most improved" golfer award three years in a row, with a collective point improvement of 21.17. In most cases, you win the most improved golfer award your first year. With my determination to succeed, I continued to improve. I could have quit after the first year, after all I was really bad, I have the plaques to prove it.
Just think of what I would have missed if I would have quit. I would not have the three "most improved" player plaques hanging on my affordable auto insurance wall, I would not have the nice golf jacket hanging in my closet, the friendships I gained over the past five years and I would not have this great story to share with all of you.
So even though by most standards that first year of golf could be considered a failure, I was determined to learn from my failure and turn it into a success. Even if I had not improved think of all that I gained because I did not give up? As a result there was no true failure right?
Now that you know that you are in control of your successes and/or failures let me ask you the questions again If you knew you could not fail, what would you do? If you were guaranteed success what would you attempt? Make a list and start today, because you now know there is no such thing as failure.
If you need support to take the next step in turning your fear of failure into the joy of success I encourage you to hire a coach. Feel free to contact me for a free sample session today!
Lisa A. Fredette is a CTA Certified Life Coach and a member of the Relationship Coaching Institute as well as a graduate of the Fearless Living Workshop. She is the owner of Passionate About Life Coaching. Lisa provides one on one and group coaching, workshops, and seminars. Her main focus is on supporting women who want to be successful singles after divorce and singles who wish to attract the right partner. In addition Lisa offers coaching services around the Fearless Living model. Sign up for Lisa's free report "Be the Navigator: Six Easy Steps to Getting Back into the Driver's Seat of Life" at http://www.lisafredette.com or sign up for a free sample coaching session at http://www.lisafredette.com/contact.htm
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